My mom, sister, and I spent Thanksgiving weekend in Paso Robles where we stayed in a lovely rental home very near downtown. I, being the motivated triathlon trainee that I am, brought my bike and my running gear so I could squeeze in a couple of workouts. Also, because I particularly enjoy having routes planned ahead of time and I don't know the area, I spent quite a bit of time on mapmyride.com looking up 15-ish mile rides in the Paso Robles hills.
I found one ride that particularly appealed to me: just a hair over 15 miles, "rolling hills," scenic loop, and backroads. Sounded perfect. So the route was supposed to be Peachy Canyon Road, right onto Hidden Mountain Drive, right onto Adelaida Road, and then that should take me back into town. 15 miles of rolling hills sounded ambitious, but I figured I could do it in under two hours.
Friday morning I donned my bike gear and headed out. My mom and sister watched me pedal away; what they didn't see was the chain slip about 50 yards down the road and me stopping to get it all running smoothly again. Slightly inauspicious start.
My first warning should have come when I hit the first hill almost immediately, on the road that was called "Merry Hill." Yes, the name should have tipped me off. Anyway, I rode up what felt like a huge hill, as a family of three were walking down - I, standing on the bike and pedaling for all I am worth just to stay upright, moving more slowly than I could walk, was huffing and puffing and sweating so much that my athlete-specific sunglasses fogged up and I could hardly see. They were walking leisurely downhill (damn gravity), and the mom actually cheered me on, with a "You're doing great!" The son, who was about 8 or 9, added, "Yeah hills are hard!" I could only add on my exhales, "You're not kidding!" and try not to fall over.
After "Not So Merry Hill" I was supposed to turn right onto Peachy Canyon Road. However, Peachy Canyon Road was labeled as something that was not Peachy Canyon Road, so I got off my bike and stood there for a minute with my iPhone trying to figure out what road it was (I'd been riding all of 10 minutes at this point). Turns out that road was indeed Peachy Canyon, it just had a different name on the sign (I think it was Pacific).
Strike two. I think I should have turned around at that point, but I was determined to overcome my road biking fear and do this supposedly lovely ride.
Peachy Canyon was absolutely gorgeous - it took me through vineyard after vineyard, and into a back canyon (again, I should have paid attention to the name!) where I lost cell signal. I wouldn't figure that out for a while though. There were hardly any cars, and the cars that were there were very bike-friendly, giving me a wide berth and slowing down quite a bit as they passed me.
There was a LOT of uphill. Like a LOT. How disappointed I am, every time, when I get to the easiest gear and want another one, only to find that I'm stuck and have to actually pedal hard! Seriously, there was a lot of uphill. This is a topo map of Peachy Canyon Road - Paso Robles is to the right, and Peachy Canyon dead-ends into Vineyard Drive. Hidden Mountain Drive isn't apparent on this map (more on that later), but you can kind of get a sense for where I was riding here - from Paso towards Vineyard...
Hidden Mountain Drive is supposed to be a bit before where the "A" label is. I should have turned right there. I was paying attention, looking for it, knowing I shouldn't be on Peachy Canyon for too long.
After a grueling uphill (I am no Lance Armstrong so it was grueling), there was a huge hairpin-containing downhill that was ridiculous fun, but was also my point-of-no-return. This was also where I realized I lost cell phone signal and was essentially on my own. But hey, how hard can it be? Just turn right on Hidden Mountain Drive.
Of course, Hidden Mountain Drive is likely names Hidden Mountain Drive because there IS NO HIDDEN MOUNTAIN DRIVE off of Peachy Canyon Road. Again, I should have paid attention to the names of the roads! Seriously - I remember this intersection because there was a sign there that said "Peachy Canyon Cottage" and I thought it was silly because there had already been a sign, at another house, for Peachy Canyon Cottage. Little did I know that early in my ride was the non-existent right turn! This is where the road was supposed to be - see it on the map, clearly labeled?
However, this is what the intersection looks like on real life:
Notice the closed gate? Looks like a house to me! No wonder I missed it and rose Peachy Canyon all the way to Vineyard Drive!
I actually stopped a couple of times to check cell phone signal and to see if my iPhone GPS worked. It did not. So, I just kept riding! Certainly there was no way I was going back over Peachy Canyon, so forward seemed my only option!
Plus, if you're going to get lost on a bike, do it in the back canyons of Paso Robles wine country.
I hit Vineyard and quickly relized I was way too far out, and I had already been riding quite hard (at least for me) for over an hour, close to an hour and a half. I thankfully saw a sign for Adelaida Road, which was what the hidden Hidden Mountain Road was to dump me out on, so I turned right onto Vineyard and followed it. But not before waiting in front of a house for any signs of life or phone. No luck.
Keep riding.
I pedaled off and passed a couple of vineyards, and thought about stopping to call, but wasn't sure how far out I was and wasn't falling over quite yet. I did stop to ask to grizzled old gentlemen where I was and how to get back to town...
They were splitting wood, or were supposed to be splitting wood and were sitting on some logs drinking Budweiser. I asked if they had cell phone reception (no), where I was (Vineyard Drive), how far town was from where we were (~11 miles!), and when they thought I might get cell phone reception again (~1 mile from town). That was when I decided there was no way I was riding all the way back. They asked me where I'd ridden from and I told them my route, at which they both went silent. Then the seated one offered me a beer. I was tempted, but instead decided to keep riding and try to flag down a motorist to see if I couldn't hitch a ride.
The first SUV that passed me slowed as I waved, gave me a wide berth, and I excitedly thought I might be rescued! Imagine my disappointment when the lovely couple inside just smiled and waved back at me, and kept driving.
Tourists.
So, my next plan - ride Vineyard until it dead-ended into Adelaida (about two more miles, quite a bit of which was uphill) and then go to a winery and use their phone. I saw the sign for Tablas Creek and realized I had ridden way, way out of my way. Where Vineyard deadends into Adelaids is a winery called Halter Ranch, where I surrendered. I wheeled my bike up their dirt driveway and stepped into their lovely tasting room, two hours after I left the house, drenched in sweat and shivering, and asked to use their phone. The women there were lovely, offered me water, and let me call my sister.
Who didn't answer.
So I called repeatedly until I got her on the phone - she was showering - and gave her directions. Thankfully, she hopped right in the car and drive ~20 minutes to get me. I suppose I could have kept riding her direction, but I was 11 miles from town, and had already gotten my 15-mile ride, unbeknownst to me! Actually, it was 15.4 miles, and here's my route:
My sister arrived with muffins and string cheese, which she thrust upon me as we were both laughing. The tasting room had opened while I was waiting, and a few groupd of nicely-dressed people arrived to find me in my Spandex and bike gear standing awkwardly just inside the door.
Thank you to Halter Ranch for hosting me and letting me repeatedly call my sister to come rescue me! (And thanks to my sister for coming to get me!)
Next time, I will drive the planned route first. Lesson learned.
And I never did go running this weekend...
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